Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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