your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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