You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
