I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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