once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
