halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
