Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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