Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I had to cum in my sink.
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