everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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