What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
