This girl is more easily done than said...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
