yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
