He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
