i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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