im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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