she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have tasted many bathrooms
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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