Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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