i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
