when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize
