he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize