Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
