what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
