I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
