Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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