You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
