Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
