I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
don't judge my taste in strippers
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
