dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
