A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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