Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She needs sedatives and a leash
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
