Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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