Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
