nutella sex= disaster
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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