I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
