Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize