I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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