You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's just like the Real World with babies
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
