and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
