I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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