I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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