dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
the liver wants what the liver wants
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
