We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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