i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
