just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
