Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
