fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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