Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
