You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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