I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
