Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
