dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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