shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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