He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
