New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
