Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize