I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
