so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize