There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize