me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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