Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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