It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
