There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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