Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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