Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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