you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize