I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
