Have you finally orgasmed yet?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
