i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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