He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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