puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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