Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
