it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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