I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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