At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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