oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
