This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
