It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
