Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I smell like Dick and happiness
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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