She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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