So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
