I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
