For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
