I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Houston, we have a squirter
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
