Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Randomize
